unlustĀ 

I don’t know if I’ll be ever able to write anything,

That’ll be as beautiful as you

Or be as deep as the feelings I have for you

But I’ll try

Everyday I’ll try

‘Cos loving you is the best thing I’ve ever done

– Smallie

lioness

She tasted sharp, like purely brewed brandy

Her skin like smooth milk,

Making me leave an imprint that would linger

My soul was torn apart by her prruh,

And the scent of her tightly woven braids

Her nipples were like acid,

washing through my sanity,

Taking everything from me,

And revealing the animal under

By day she was angelic, harmless

By night, a lioness 

night sky

The night sky is blank

Devoid of its shiny stars 

And its glowing moon

Emptiness 

That’s what I feel

An infinite space of nothing

Sometimes I overcome it

Letting little moments fill up the space

Fighting it’s gravity with all I could

Sometimes it swallows me

Drawing me down an endless pit of depression 

No one knows this battle I fight daily

Even her, who helps build up those little moments

The night sky is blank

And I feel myself falling

smallie

“People are noticing”

“Someone even had the guts to ask me”

“Smallie, what are we going to do?”

“I feel helpless, I feel like killing myself”

As she talked, I just sat there, bald head on my hand, thinking. She is carrying a baby I don’t want, especially coming from her. I just wanted to have fun that night, and never call her again. Now I barely sleep, and my call history is filled with her name.

I look tough, straight into her eyes, and tell her the unthinkable. She cries heavily on my shoulder, and I wait patiently, for her sobbing to stop, so that I could go home and cry all night. I hope God forgives me, I know He won’t.